A mother’s harrowing account of physical abuse from her adopted daughter has cast a stark light on the devastating personal cost of adoption breakdown, revealing a system often ill-equipped to support families at their most vulnerable. Her story, a tragic narrative of a career and relationship destroyed, underscores a pervasive sentiment among struggling adoptive parents: a feeling of being left to ‘get on with it’ as their lives unravel.
A Family’s Unravelling Ordeal
The woman, who wishes to remain anonymous to protect her family’s privacy, describes reaching a “breaking point” after enduring repeated physical attacks from her daughter. This escalating violence, she explains, is merely the most recent and acute manifestation of a long-term struggle that has systematically dismantled her professional life and personal partnership. The emotional and physical toll has been immense, forcing her to abandon her career and ultimately leading to the dissolution of her relationship, leaving her isolated and overwhelmed.
The Silent Crisis of Post-Adoption Challenges
Her experience is not an isolated incident but rather a poignant example of a wider, often hidden crisis within the adoption landscape. While adoption offers a lifeline to children in need and the promise of a loving home, the journey for many adoptive families is fraught with complex challenges. Children who have experienced early trauma, neglect, or abuse often present with significant behavioural, emotional, and developmental needs that require specialised, long-term therapeutic interventions. Without adequate support, these challenges can escalate, placing immense strain on family dynamics and leading to what is termed ‘adoption breakdown’ – where the placement is at risk or fails entirely.
Calls for Systemic Change and Enhanced Support
The mother’s plea for recognition and assistance echoes a growing chorus of voices advocating for more robust and accessible post-adoption support services. Critics argue that while the initial adoption process is often rigorous, the subsequent provision of resources – including mental health services, respite care, and educational support – is frequently insufficient, fragmented, or difficult to access. The sentiment of being ‘told to get on with it’ highlights a perceived systemic failure to acknowledge the profound and enduring impact of trauma on adopted children and the immense demands placed on their adoptive parents.
As more families grapple with the profound complexities of adoption breakdown, experts and advocates are urging governments and social care agencies to re-evaluate current policies. There is a critical need for proactive, integrated support systems that not only respond to crises but also equip adoptive parents with the tools and resources necessary to navigate the unique challenges of their journey, preventing further devastating personal and familial breakdowns.
